"The Biggest Shovel I Could Find"
Doing the impossible a little faster than everybody else
Runners are, the general public tends to agree, crazy. I am not here to argue with this sentiment — far from it. Running dozens of miles a week so that, at some point, you might manage to run just one of them (but really fast this time!) is… compulsive, to put it kindly.
I would, however, point out that most of us, at least, are crazy within the normal parameters. Nobody participating in what is perhaps the oldest and most common sport in the world can be considered that bonkers. Most of us are only racing, anyway, for between 10 seconds and an hour. Perhaps the more adventurous among us try out a half marathon (double digits! Yikes!), and the even more adventurous among us (or, perhaps, masochistic — the line grows blurrier with every mile I traverse) take on the real thing: the marathon, in all its devilish, beguiling, and often terrifying glory. I hope to run marathons someday — emphasis on someday. Not, and I cannot emphasize this enough, anywhere even close to today.
But the marathon, in 2022, is not the superhuman accomplishment it once was. In the 70s, if you tried to run a marathon, you were either one hell of an athlete or you had genuinely lost your mind. That’s not the case anymore. We have YouTube, now, not to mention Runner’s World1 and some far more comfortable shoes. Everybody’s running a marathon these days, from Kipchoge to Kevin, your neighbor who takes holiday decorating way too seriously. Don’t misunderstand me: this is a great thing! Running is awesome, and the more people pursuing it the better.
As I said, runners are crazy, but we’re crazy within the normal parameters. There are those, however, who exceed even the increasingly-expanding boundaries of usual nuttiness. I speak, of course, of ultrarunners.
Though ultrarunners make up a small minority of collegiate club runners, there has always been a powerful faction of extreme distance enthusiasts among the league. One of the most decorated ultrarunning club alums is Sabrina Little, the world 100 mile silver medalist, HOKA-sponsored athlete, and early member of what is now Team Blitz at William & Mary2.
One name to watch, however, is Cole Bishop. An active member of Club Running at Pitt whose Strava bio lists him as an “Ultrarunner that will gladly join your 4x400m,” Bishop seems to be out to prove he can really do it all. After placing 7th at the NIRCA Half Marathon Championships this April, Bishop ran the Laurel Highlands 70.5 Ultra last Saturday and took 2nd overall. In a run I can unhyperbolically refer to as absurdly impressive, he covered the distance (over technical trails, mind you), in 12 hours, 12 minutes, and 47 seconds, digging deep and snatching the runner-up finish over the final few miles of the race. Just for reference, that’s an average pace of 10:24 a mile for 70.5 miles, over technical trails. That, folks, is crazy.
Rather than try and provide a play-by-play of a 12+ hour race I wasn’t at, I asked Bishop to send me a race report. This, in his own words3, is Cole Bishop’s ultra experience:
“I’ve never had an ultra go the way I expect. That holds true for everyone I’ve ever spoken with. This was the first time that I had it go unexpectedly in a positive direction. The race begins with some gnarly climbs and then becomes overwhelmingly runnable other than the few remaining climbs after mile 11. Taking it easy early on and breaking the race up mentally made for a phenomenal day out there. With a bunch of friends refueling me and dumping water on me every 6-12 miles, there was always some mark to count down to. At 30 miles I realized that I was having the day of my life and couldn’t wait to pick up my teammate and friend Tim at mile 46.
We immediately went and passed second place, only for me to start honking badly at mile 50 and get passed again by the same guy right before the final crew station at mile 57. Here, I swapped in Jim for Tim in a mental and physical fugue. I had written off second place just to arrive at the final aid station at mile 62 and saw that Emanuel (the guy I’d been switching off with since mile 50) was still there. He disappeared into the woods while I walked and put down some veggie broth and tried to collect myself. There was one last climb that I was hardly pulling myself up and when I crested it, Emanuel was right there, just a few hundred yards ahead of me. I worked on getting to him and I used a huge downhill to cruise down to him which he matched. We hit a hill that required some hiking and we exchanged words of encouragement.
As soon as we crested that hill with 3 miles to go, I brought out the biggest shovel I could find and threw myself down the rocks in a 6:30 mile, almost dropping Jim along the way. I ended up making a wrong turn, but Jim and I ran back to where I went off the trail and I ran scared all the way to the finish for 2nd place…over an hour behind an all-time historic effort by Sam Kirk.”
Cole, sir — I salute you. Somebody get this guy a beer!
Over the River & Through the Woods
Tomorrow, on June 18th, runners from around the world will toe the line in Duluth, Minnesota, for Grandma’s Marathon. Arguably the most prestigious Summer marathon in the US, Grandma’s flat course and agreeable weather draws big names every year.
It also draws college runners, who will no doubt appreciate the fact that they can spend their post-race recuperation time doing something other than homework. Several club athletes will be racing at Grandma’s tomorrow, including Minnesota’s own Cassie Davis, who will be pacing her mom to a sub-4 marathon (good luck Cassie’s mom!), and Matt Land, Wisconsin Track Club alum and head of Whitebridge Coffee (of Coffee Club Podcast fame).
Good luck everybody — let me know how it goes!
Summer Track — Some Quick Musings
Plenty of places have fun, low-pressure, semi-regular all-comers track meets on summer evenings. Lucky for me, Richmond is one of these places. Against my better judgment, and despite my enduring fear of the distance, I ran my first 800m at one of these meets this past Tuesday. I got put in the “fast” heat (everyone aiming to break 3 minutes, including those who would be breaking 2), and three unexpected things happened:
I didn’t pull anything
I didn’t barf
I had… fun?
As I was treating this race like a glorified workout (I’m still early in a base phase, after all, and I’d run 5 miles that morning), and since I was mostly there just to get over my fear of the distance (or, in this case, the lack thereof), the effort was hardly all-out. I ran at roughly mile effort through 600m, then had a frankly shocking amount of fun kicking my brains out over the last 200. I had such a blast that I’m contemplating the unthinkable… running some more 800s when the track season rolls around.
Why am I telling you this? Good question. I’ve written in previous editions of this newsletter about how summer is a time to experiment with training, to push your mileage and see how your body responds to different workouts. And that’s still true! But it’s also an opportunity to try out some new races (be that a half-mile or a 70-miler) with no pressure, no obligations, and no expectations. Who knows — you might just like it!
I actually got myself started as a runner, back in the Fall of 2019, with the free Runner’s World half marathon training plan. I am a walking testament to the power of a free training plan and too much time on your hands.
hell yeah
The words are entirely Cole’s — I’ve done no editing in that regard. I did, however, add the paragraph breaks for the sake of readability.